I worked for a highly dysfunctional company in my career, one that drove me quite frankly to a new depth in self-respect, as I stooped to their level to compete, to a new way of stating the truth to not be caught up in the deceit that was rampant, to new ways of dealing with peers and employees to survive and keep my head above the water others were pulling me down into.

I was a mess. I hated every evening knowing the next day had more malice to face. But Sunday nights were the worst. I asked myself three questions in the bullets below, endlessly.

As Jim Acosta said the other day when he signed off from CNN (though his intention was different than mine here today):

“It’s never a good time to bow down to a tyrant… don’t give in to the lies. Don’t give in to fear. Hold on to the truth… and hope.”

I needed these words as that corporate employee, that cog in the machine, that gerbil on the wheel.

I raised my head and moved forward my way.

Then it happened, an exit opened in that company when it was acquired and even though I was offered a position that would put me physically far away from those I loathed, I would still be in their orbits. So I declined, left the company honorably and opened another chapter of my life.

That was almost 25 years ago.

In the interim, I rebuilt one brick, one wall, one roof at a time, and became whom I am today.

I still draw on the strength I mustered when I endure clients who do not know what they do not know, think they can change me, cheaters who wanted me to enable them, ghosting, appointment others have asked for yet stood me up, been declined work verbally that it was due to my age, and told my insight/ideals are too open and mismatch the client’s perceived needs. I raised my head and moved forward. I still do.

Yet I am human with some deep-seeded questions that still dog me, and perhaps these do you as well:

  • Can I? I do my level best in all I do. I thank those who recognize it. I am proud of my work every day, as I look back, and my clients do too, as they tell me.
  • Must I? If I believe it is right, I pursue it wholeheartedly. If I question it, I let it simmer for a while, looking for a new perspective before I delve into it, if at all.
  • What should I do next? Ah, that’s what I am tussling with now. Don’t we all? My career is evolving, my viewpoints subtly morphing, and my mind is adapting to employing new tech, improving with new processes, addressing new client strata. And then I was fortunate something important happened.

Yesterday a colleague whom I respect greatly surfaced a toxic myth that I still hide behind: I’d rather do {one thing} than {another}. I believed my original way will have better control of what comes out. He argued why that was not true from his observations and perceptions. I am processing all this.

Thank you, {you know who you are} for your candor, your admirable honesty and your forthright way of refocusing me. I greatly value your opinion and will implement your suggestions at my pace, with you to thank.

I can, I must, and I will move forward.

Folks, you can be vulnerable as an entrepreneur and be respected by those who truly care. You can even express it on social media.

Whom can you thank for their selflessness today?